Previous editions of the Healthful Changes newsletter are now interwoven with inspiring quotes and pictures. My intention in creating this book is to make the rich information and tools from my profession accessible to anyone interested in moving toward greater emotional, psychological, and physical health.  I hope the words in this book inspire you to embrace the personal power you have to make healthful changes in your life. Click HERE for a complimentary copy!  ~Dr. Poonam  Sharma

CURRENT ISSUE:  Healing from Loss

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1. IN THIS ISSUE
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Coping with the death of a loved one is one of the most challenging of life’s experiences. Grief is a necessary part of healing and each one of us must find our unique path through the process. Learn how to support your natural ability to heal, even in the face of the tremendous pain of loss.

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2. THE PAIN OF GRIEF
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There is no pain deeper than the loss of someone you have loved. People who are dear to us leave an aching void in our hearts when they die. Their death can cause us to wonder how we will ever move beyond the hurt.

Although death is an inevitable and “normal” part of the life cycle, it is an uncomfortable topic for most Americans. As a culture, we tend to fear and deny death, leaving us particularly ill prepared for dealing with the pain it causes. Even after someone dies, we are expected to quickly engage in funeral rituals and then get back to life as if nothing ever happened.

Such a context for recovering from loss can be highly confusing, invalidating, and stressful. Healing is more complicated when people around you are too afraid to acknowledge the reality of what has happened in your life.  Life can feel very surreal when you are living in deep pain and the world around you is going on in its usual way.

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3. FINDING YOUR PATH TO HEALING
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Ultimately, the only way to heal from loss is to grieve.

We all have the capacity to heal if we allow ourselves to grieve in a healthy way. When you get a cut on your skin, all you have to do is keep that cut clean and your body knows how to do the rest. You have a similar capacity to heal from emotional wounds, but you have to make sure you do not get in your own way.

Consider these tips for accelerating your healing:

1. Find some way to channel the energy of your grief. The energy associated with grief must be directed outward or it can be damaging to your health. Attempting to keep the grief locked away inside you is like trying to keep a beach ball under water. It takes tremendous effort and eventually you get tired and have to allow what’s real to come to the surface. Crying, writing, creating a memorial, talking to others, doing “good” things in the name of your loved one, or seeking spiritual comfort are a just a few ways to grieve. YOU must find what works for you.

2. Allow the waves of grief to wash over you. The more you can let yourself experience the natural ebb and flow of grief, the faster you will heal. Over time, the waves will become less frequent and less intense and you will find yourself more able to bear the pain.

3. Remember that your path through grief is unique. Sadness, anger, guilt, regret, and even relief can all be normal emotions for someone who is grieving. There is no set timeline or sequence of stages you must follow. There is no “right” way to grieve, except to follow your own personal path to healing.

4. Practice extreme self-care. Grieving is exhausting. It is important to take extra good care of yourself so you do not become ill. Make sure you are eating, sleeping, and exercising. Seek comfort only from friends and family who are able to listen and constructively support your healing.  Let them know how they can help you and be willing to accept that support.

5. Please seek professional help if you find your sorrow so overwhelming that you are escaping through drugs, alcohol, or too much work. If you feel helplessly trapped in your grief, outside assistance is absolutely necessary.  There is a way through the darkness, but you may need someone to guide you.

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4. READ MORE ABOUT GRIEF
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Here are a few books that can help you gain a better understanding of strategies that will support healing.

Remembering with Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond by Levang and Ilse

A Time to Mourn, A Time to Dance: Help for the Losses in Life by Metzgar

Seven Choices: Finding Daylight after Loss Shatters Your World by Neeld

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5. QUOTES ABOUT GRIEF
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“There is no despair so absolute as that which comes from
the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have
not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed, to
have despaired and recovered hope.”
~George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of
weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten
thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming
grief...and unspeakable love.”
~Washington Irving

“Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in.
I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand”
~Grace Noll Crowell

  PRINTER-FRIENDLY FORMAT
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