HEALTHFUL CHANGES
"Take charge of your health and your life!"
Fall 2006: Healing from Loss

http://www.healthfulchanges.com

Please enjoy this complimentary issue of the Healthful
Changes newsletter written by Poonam Sharma, Ph.D., a
licensed psychologist in San Antonio, Texas. Dr. Sharma
works with individuals who want to become more effective in
dealing with their health or some other important aspect of
their lives. She offers psychotherapy, psychological
testing, and coaching services.

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Previous editions of the Healthful Changes newsletter are
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others who might find the information helpful.

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INDEX
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1. In This Issue
2. The Pain of Grief
3. Finding Your Path to Healing
4. Read More about Grief
5. Quotes about Grief
6. About Poonam Sharma, Ph.D.
7. To Subscribe or Unsubscribe

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1. IN THIS ISSUE
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Coping with the death of a loved one is one of the most
challenging of life’s experiences. Grief is a necessary
part of healing and each one of us must find our unique
path through the process. Learn how to support your
natural ability to heal, even in the face of the tremendous
pain of loss.

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2. THE PAIN OF GRIEF
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There is no pain deeper than the loss of someone you have
loved. People who are dear to us leave an aching void in
our hearts when they die. Their death can cause us to
wonder how we will ever move beyond the hurt.

Although death is an inevitable and “normal” part of the
life cycle, it is an uncomfortable topic for most
Americans. As a culture, we tend to fear and deny death,
leaving us particularly ill prepared for dealing with the
pain it causes. Even after someone dies, we are expected
to quickly engage in funeral rituals and then get back to
life as if nothing ever happened.

Such a context for recovering from loss can be highly
confusing, invalidating, and stressful. Healing is more
complicated when people around you are too afraid to
acknowledge the reality of what has happened in your life.
Life can feel very surreal when you are living in deep pain
and the world around you is going on in its usual way.

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3. FINDING YOUR PATH TO HEALING
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Ultimately, the only way to heal from loss is to grieve.

We all have the capacity to heal if we allow ourselves to
grieve in a healthy way. When you get a cut on your skin,
all you have to do is keep that cut clean and your body
knows how to do the rest. You have a similar capacity to
heal from emotional wounds, but you have to make sure you
do not get in your own way.

Consider these tips for accelerating your healing:

1. Find some way to channel the energy of your grief. The
energy associated with grief must be directed outward or it
can be damaging to your health. Attempting to keep the
grief locked away inside you is like trying to keep a beach
ball under water. It takes tremendous effort and
eventually you get tired and have to allow what’s real to
come to the surface. Crying, writing, creating a memorial,
talking to others, doing “good” things in the name of your
loved one, or seeking spiritual comfort are a just a few
ways to grieve. YOU must find what works for you.

2. Allow the waves of grief to wash over you. The more
you can let yourself experience the natural ebb and flow of
grief, the faster you will heal. Over time, the waves will
become less frequent and less intense and you will find
yourself more able to bear the pain.

3. Remember that your path through grief is unique.
Sadness, anger, guilt, regret, and even relief can all be
normal emotions for someone who is grieving. There is no
set timeline or sequence of stages you must follow. There
is no “right” way to grieve, except to follow your own
personal path to healing.

4. Practice extreme self-care. Grieving is exhausting.
It is important to take extra good care of yourself so you
do not become ill. Make sure you are eating, sleeping, and
exercising. Seek comfort only from friends and family who
are able to listen and constructively support your healing.
Let them know how they can help you and be willing to
accept that support.

5. Please seek professional help if you find your sorrow
so overwhelming that you are escaping through drugs,
alcohol, or too much work. If you feel helplessly trapped
in your grief, outside assistance is absolutely necessary.
There is a way through the darkness, but you may need
someone to guide you.

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4. READ MORE ABOUT GRIEF
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Here are a few books that can help you gain a better
understanding of strategies that will support healing.

Remembering with Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year
of Grieving and Beyond by Levang and Ilse

A Time to Mourn, A Time to Dance: Help for the Losses in
Life by Metzgar

Seven Choices: Finding Daylight after Loss Shatters Your
World by Neeld

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5. QUOTES ABOUT GRIEF
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“There is no despair so absolute as that which comes from
the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have
not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed, to
have despaired and recovered hope.”
~George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of
weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten
thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming
grief...and unspeakable love.”
~Washington Irving

“Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in.
I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand”
~Grace Noll Crowell

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6. ABOUT POONAM SHARMA, PH.D.
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Poonam Sharma is a licensed psychologist in San Antonio,
Texas. She completed her doctoral work at The University
of Texas at Austin and is a graduate of MentorCoach, a
coach training program specifically for mental health
professionals. She specializes in helping people with
health issues. In her practice, she loves to work with
organizations, groups, and individuals, helping them
overcome obstacles to achieve the success they desire. Her
style is to listen attentively to you in order to
understand your situation clearly, assist you in setting
realistic goals, and then supporting you as you take steps
that will move you toward the results you desire.

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CONTACT INFORMATION
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Poonam Sharma, Ph.D.
Voice: 210.493.6554
Fax: 210.493.6714
Address: 11124 Wurzbach Rd, Ste 204, San Antonio, TX 78230
Email: sharma@healthfulchanges.com
Web: http://www.healthfulchanges.com

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NOTICE
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HEALTHFUL CHANGES is intended for informational and
educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for
consultation with your personal physician or other
healthcare professional and should not be construed as a
form of, or substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, or
other psychological service.

(c) Copyright 2006 Poonam Sharma, Ph.D.
All rights reserved.